Three Ways to Develop Mental Stamina

​အောက်ဆုံးထိ ဆွဲကြည့်​​ပေးကြပါ ခင်ဗျာ

Here’s how I think about mental strength:

Mental strength is the ability to control your mind instead of being controlled by it.

For example:

• Mental toughness is what allows you to avoid spirals of self-criticism and shame and instead focus on things that are less harmful, like the conversation you’re having with your son or the report you’re supposed to write.
• You are able to resist the urge to respond impulsively to your spouse’s sarcastic comment by either saying nothing or assertively stating that you do not appreciate the sarcasm.

Obviously, there are aspects of your mind that you cannot control, such as whether a particular memory comes to mind. or whether you are afraid of being nearly struck by a car.

Therefore, just because you have developed mental strength does not mean that you will be able to have complete control over everything that transpires between your ears.

Mental toughness means knowing what aspects of your mind you can control and doing them well when it matters.

For example:

• You will be unable to control whether an irregular concern jumps into your psyche. However, you can decide whether you will continue to worry about it.
• You have no control over what someone says to you that is insensitive. However, you have some control over what you say accordingly.

One of the many advantages of increasing your mental toughness is that it is one of the best ways to improve your emotional well-being….

• Learning how to control your mental patterns of worry is the only way to reduce your anxiety over time.
• When you learn to control your mental patterns of rumination, you will be able to control your anger issues.
• Without learning how to control your mental pattern of self-criticism, it is difficult to break the cycle of low self-esteem.

To put it another way, you must train yourself to be mentally strong if you want to be emotionally resilient.

Furthermore, similar to any sort of preparing, developing mental fortitude requires a pledge to positive routines and practices over the long haul.

The following are three small routines that will gradually and steadily increase your mental toughness and emotional resilience.

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1. Be honest about how you feel emotionally

This habit is so simple that it’s incredibly easy to miss.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself:

I think I’m pretty honest about how I feel…

Maybe. But I’d be willing to bet you’re not quite as honest about your emotions — especially the really difficult ones — as you’d like to believe.

For instance: Let’s say you and your partner got into a big fight last night. Furthermore, as you get into work today, one of your collaborators asks you how you’re doing. And you immediately respond, “I’m good,” without giving it any thought. How you doing?

This is a typical example of being sincerely exploitative.

You probably are thinking to yourself right now:

I mean, I know that I’m not feeling great this morning because of that argument. I just didn’t want to say anything about it since it’s not really appropriate to talk about personal issues at work.

First of all, Do you really know how you feel?

When it’s all said and done, on some dubious, shallow level I’m certain you realize that you feel upset. But exactly what feelings are you experiencing?

• Do you, for instance, feel enraged? If so, what kind of anger is it, irritated, frustrated, or mad?
• Or perhaps you’re hurt, but what kind of hurt? Are you disappointed or sad? Are you sorry or ashamed?
• Or, more likely than not, you might be experiencing a variety of emotions all at once—mostly disappointment but also a little bit of rage and anxiety.

If you didn’t squeeze in a session of therapy before going to work this morning or did some serious self-reflection journaling before going to bed, I don’t think you really know how you feel at all.

My second point is that you can talk about how you feel even if it is inappropriate to discuss your marital issues in detail at work.

For example, in response to your coworker’s question, you could have said:

• I’m doing fine, but yesterday was kind of stressful for me.
• Not really awful yet Jesse and I had an extreme discussion the previous evening I’m actually attempting to get a handle on everything.

Here’s why this matters…

• Even though you may intellectually know that you aren’t feeling well, avoiding those feelings teaches your brain that those feelings are bad or dangerous (since our brains know that running away from something might be dangerous).
• What’s more, assuming you’re prone to try not to discuss how you feel, you’re truly sending your cerebrum a solid message that difficult sentiments are things to be kept away from and dreaded.
• Additionally, if you teach your brain to be afraid of your own emotions, you set yourself up for emotional fragility and suffering.

By simply being willing to talk openly about difficult emotions, both with yourself and others, you can, thankfully, teach your brain the opposite message, namely that, despite how painful they may be, they are not harmful.

This does not obligate you to express your gratitude to every Starbucks barista and coworker you meet throughout the day. But it’s a powerful way to build mental strength and emotional resilience over time to take three seconds to honestly acknowledge your emotions rather than avoiding them.

2. Resist unnecessary mental time travel

Overuse of mental time travel is directly responsible for the majority of emotional suffering.

Mental time travel… What’s that?

The amazing ability we humans have to imagine the future or relive events from the past without remembering them is known as mental time travel.

What’s more, all that from building scaffolds and rocket boats to getting all that you really want at the supermarket depends by and large on your capacity to intellectually go through time — stopping to think about conceivable outcomes later on and reviewing recollections from an earlier time.

However, mental time travel can be used well or poorly, just like any other tool.

Consider it…

• A welding light is a great device for warming things up, yet you likely would have zero desire to utilize one to make hot chocolate.
• Although nail clippers are excellent for cutting toenails, splitting firewood probably requires one.

Whether you’re trying to make hot cocoa, trim your toenails, or lower your anxiety, everything depends on using the right tool for the job.

Unfortunately, it’s easy to make the mistake of using a tool that’s really effective in many situations in every situation…

• Regardless of how fantastic you might be at utilizing Succeed to make everything from monetary models to recipe inventories, in the event that you attempted to compose a novel in Succeed you’d get yourself in a position for a ton of superfluous pressure and disappointment.
• In a similar vein, regardless of how adept you are at imagining potential issues that might arise in the future while working as a risk assessor for your company, laying in bed at 2:00 a.m. and imagining all of the potential drawbacks of not getting enough sleep tonight is not a particularly effective method for reducing your anxiety and falling asleep.

Therefore, you cannot assume that mental time travel will assist you in all aspects of your life, despite your success with it in some areas.

A few examples:

• Anxiety. The majority of anxiety is caused by negative outlook on the future. Also, in light of the fact that really thinking about regrettable potential outcomes in what’s to come is useful some of the time, doesn’t mean it can’t be absolutely pointless in others. Therefore, using your tool of imagining problems in the future less frequently is essential to reducing anxiety.
• Shame. Strong mental habits of self-criticism and self-judgment are to blame for a lot of depression and low self-esteem. In certain circumstances, and somewhat, pondering previous oversights, for instance, can be exceptionally useful and useful, if somewhat difficult. However, if you let that mental habit get out of hand, it can have devastating effects.
• Resentment and aggression. Reflecting on one’s own mistakes can quickly result in destructive self-criticism; conversely, dwelling on the shortcomings and mistakes of other people can quickly result in excessive levels of rage, resentment, aggression, and conflict.

As an antidote to destructive mental time travel, cultivate the ability to hold your attention in the present moment:

• At the point when you’re halted at a stoplight for 30 seconds, simply keep your consideration on the music of the radio as opposed to replaying that contention with your accomplice the previous evening.
• When you go for a run, practice focusing on the experience of running and being outside rather than worrying about how poorly your work presentation might go tomorrow.

Remember: The ability to mentally time travel is a tool. Use it mindfully, not mindlessly.

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3. Distinguish wants vs values

A big part of mental strength is the ability to resist unhelpful impulses:

• Although you have committed to exercising five days per week, you are feeling lazy this evening and want to relax on the couch and watch television.
• When a coworker says something mean to you, you feel compelled to respond with something snarky and mean.
• You have an awkward discussion you really want to have with your companion, yet you’re apprehensive about how they’ll take it and want to put it off.

All too frequently, our own minds sabotage our best intentions through impulsive reactions, cravings, fears, and other similar behaviors.

But the tricky part is that it’s hard to just resist an unhelpful impulse… For instance: Simply repeating “Don’t eat the dessert,” “Don’t eat the dessert,” and “Don’t eat the dessert” to yourself is probably not going to be all that helpful if you’re feeling the urge to eat a second serving of dessert. This is due to the fact that your attention is still focused on both the craving and the dessert!

The better way to resist unhealthy impulses and cravings is to shift your focus onto your values.

Rather than attempting to drive yourself to not eat the subsequent serving, imagine a scenario in which you put your concentration onto why you need to oppose that motivation in any case.

• What if you wrote down three good reasons why you don’t want to eat the dessert with a pen and paper?
• To put it another way, why do you place such a high value on skipping dessert? You probably want to resist that craving because you value losing weight and improving your health, looking your best at the beach this summer, or supporting your spouse who is trying to lose weight.
• After you have determined at least one good reason for your desire to resist the dessert, make it clear: what are the advantages of losing weight and becoming healthier? When you’re at a healthy weight and slimmer, what will you be able to do? Envision how it can feel to play ball with the folks once more?

Here’s the thing:

Instead of trying to resist your unhealthy impulses, outcompete them with your values.

There is some kind of motivation behind unhealthy impulses. There is always a reason why we are pushed in unhealthy directions, whether it’s a chocolate craving or the boost to our egos that comes from criticizing someone.

However, by defining and clarifying your values—what you really want, or your ideals—you can overcome the motivational pull of fleeting impulses.

Toward the day’s end, genuine qualities and standards contain considerably more rousing power than fleeting impulses or driving forces. The issue is we seldom find opportunity to help ourselves to remember our qualities and cause them adequately explicit to feel convincing.

Developing the habit of distinguishing genuine values from momentary desires builds surprising mental strength. It will also become easier for you to resist the things you don’t want to do and act on the things you do want to do the more you practice it.

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All You Need to Know

Mental strength is the ability to control your mind instead of being controlled by it. And it’s a skill anyone can improve with practice.

Here are three small habits that will help you build mental strength:

1. Be honest about how you feel emotionally
2. Resist unnecessary mental time travel
3. Distinguish wants vs values

Reference: medium.com/@nickwignall